IT’S BROKE; LET’S FIX IT
Maybe it’s time we stopped burning our hands on the stove
Good morning America. Good morning Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives, white people, black people, red people, yellow people, every kind of people. Good morning LGBTQ people. Good morning Christians, Jews, Muslims, and the other kind of religions. Good morning blue staters, red staters, Biden supporters, Trump supporters, and every other kind of supporters. Every morning the sun is going to rise and every evening the sun is going to set. The days, weeks, months and years will roll by regardless of who we are, and regardless of what we feel is important to us or is the “right” way. And someday we will be dead.
I read posts on social media every day with everybody blaming every other kind of person, group, belief system, etc., but the truth is that if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. The truth is that no one belief system has all the answers period. The truth is that no one belief system created all the problems. The truth is that the world will always see me as a 6’ tall white guy with some kind of curly hair. The world has interacted with me in particular ways because of that exterior shell since the moment of my birth (although I was not 6’ tall then and my hair was not curly). The truth is that the world interacts with everyone differently based upon their exterior shell. If you are unwilling to acknowledge how the world interacts with us differently, and how each of us are shaped by those different experiences, and if all you are willing to do is see the world from your own unique perspective without acknowledging other perspectives, then we ain’t going nowhere, and you are always going to be angry and disappointed.
When I look back at recorded human history what strikes me is the ease and frequency of one group hating another for reasons that are absurd. We hate for reasons of gender, religion, skin tone, geography, hair color or style, clothing, sexual orientation, jealousy, etc. Heck, sports fans of one team hate (and it sometimes becomes violent) the fans of another team. In my almost 62 years on this planet I’ve seen people hate one another over music, food, art and literature. If often seems that hate is one of our default settings.
What is so very disturbing about all this is how often people hate without actually knowing anyone who belongs to the group that they hate. They have actually had no real experience with a person or people from the other group, but someone from their own group (often times someone who is a leader or is influential, or someone with a TV or radio show, or is respected and is perceived as being “in the know”) has told them that they should really hate and be afraid of a person or people from a particular group. So, they buy in and join in, and the hate and fear spread and those in power manipulate their followers like puppets on a string. Being that I was born Jewish, Hitler and Nazi Germany comes to mind, but history is riddled with examples of this from as far back as the eye can see to the present in the good old U.S. of A.
There is all this hatred. Some people try to rationalize it so that they can sleep better at night. They may be white, and they may live in some tony posh town or neighborhood. They may feel good about the fact that they donate to the N.A.A.C.P., and participate in fund raising events, and toy drives over the holidays. They are good people and they have done good work. They may even welcome into their enclaves one or two families of color who are “educated”, have money, you know, people who have “made it” and “deserve to be here”. But what happens when too many of “those people” move in, they move out in search of another “safe place”. And please don’t talk them about integrating their schools. I have been on the Board of Education of the public schools of my small diverse city for 15 years. Despite the fact that the kids graduating from our high school who have been inducted into the National Honor Society are a diverse rainbow and have proven themselves to be very successful, I get quietly asked often about how I really feel about the schools, or how did I feel when my children went there. It is exhausting.
At the end of the day I am not suggesting that anyone give up who they are, or give up their core beliefs, all I’m saying is that people tend to judge and view others by their own experiences. This is understandable, but it doesn’t get us anywhere. It just leads to more anger and people banging their heads against the wall in frustration because others aren’t more like them. As I said earlier, everyone has their own unique view of the world, their own lens, based upon how the world has interacted with them since their birth. If we don’t at least try to stand in the shoes of someone else, and all we expect them to do is behave as we would, that’s just ridiculous. For example, I understand that because of my gender, skin tone and size, I am virtually fearless in my daily life. Yes, I could get hit by a car, or someone could shoot me, but for the most part, I am safe and secure wherever I go. Unfortunately, women cannot say that because of the history of violence against them by men. Similarly, other people, because of the particular shell that they walk around in, or their sexual orientation, or religion, or whatever, respond to situations or the world based upon how the world has responded to or treated them.
Although I am not a religious person, in my own case because I am labeled as being Jewish, I have experienced three or four significant incidents of anti-semitism in my life, including violence. All of these incidents were initiated by people of the same ethnic background (and they were not people of color). Interestingly, I wound up falling in love with someone from that group when I was 15 (and she was 14), and we’ve been together for 46 years.
What it comes down to is choice. Are we going to continue banging our heads against the wall, which only results in a perpetual headache of anger and rage, and is like a cancer that never heals (a true waste of life), or maybe we can try to reach out with an open hand and not a fist. Maybe, and as hard and uncomfortable as it may be, we can try (even for moment) to listen with an open mind to someone from another group, point of view, etc. If I don’t at least listen to a woman, person of color, someone who is LGBTQ, etc., with an open mind, then I am disrespecting and denigrating and dismissing their experience and who they are. I have not the standing to judge anyone like that, and I choose not to do that. I know how I would feel if I opened up to someone who is not Jewish about my experiences and they simply dismissed me without at least considering my point of view. Or worse yet, they denied me or were angry at me, or they feared me and hated me. I tell you, that would kind of suck.
The old ways and hatreds haven’t worked or solved anything. Quite frankly, I’m tired of this bullshit. We are in the middle of a raging pandemic, we have just been through another brutal election cycle, and 2020 just seems like it is the gift that keeps on giving. But maybe we can all just make a little choice. If the old ways are not working, maybe we can choose to try something a little different. 2021 is just around the corner. I don’t care if your candidate was elected or not, because it ain’t them, it is us. We are “We the People”. We can choose how we want to drive this bus into the future. So, suck it up, let’s turn down the heat and volume, and let’s truly listen to one another with respect no matter how uncomfortable that might become. One World/One Love. Peace.
